Abbie Vs the Spider
by Killer Moth
Summary: It is a tale of contemplation, featuring Assistant District Attorney Abbie Carmichael and a common spider.


Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I'd be too controversial with them anyway.

Author's Note: Just a cute story that was written as a break/distraction from my larger stories last month. It is based from an event that amused Moonbeamdancer during one of our many conversations. I finally got around to posting it.

Beta: PureSakuraMelody, because it beats Brand Eccch.

Timeline: Before Season 11 or between Season 9 to 10. Happy?

Dedication: Must I say who?

Ready Go!

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Clack. Clack. Clack.

The computer keyboard clacked about as Abbie typed further into her document. The day wore on, not to mention the heat as she tossed off her suit jacket and prayed her white T-Shirt wouldn't cling to her like soap to skin.

'_I wish the criminals would take a day off so I wouldn't have to sweat up a storm in here as I clean up after them.'_

She continued to type on, oblivious to the world as she gazed at the monitor, when a house spider descended down on a strand to the upper right corner of the computer, adjacent to the wall, and slowly began to weave a web in the gap. The A.D.A. finished her document and craned her head up and saw the spider in her peripheral vision.

'_I am not going to scream, I am not to scream. I have an image to protect.'_

She was about to squash it when she observed the intricate hammock pattern the spider wove.

'_Well, I have to admit, that pattern looks kind of interesting.'_ She glanced at the pattern as the spider scurried back and forth. _'Why am I admiring this? It's just a spider making a web. Although I do like this zigzag setup it has going on.' _She shook her head. _'Head in the game, Carmichael, you're supposed to finish your opening argument; not staring at a spider.'_ She stared intermittently at the spider's crawling and the weaving and dodging it did on the constructing web.

'_That's an interesting touch. I wonder how it can do that. Is it instinct? Is it a natural gift of the spider?_' Abbie gawked at the monitor.

'_I don't think the world will end if I don't finish this argument this second.' _

"Abbie?" a familiar mature voice called out to her. The Texan A.D.A. felt mesmerized by the weaving.

"Abbie, hello?" She turned around to see Jack standing before her with a folder in his hand.

"Oh, sorry. I was…thinking."

"You looked like you were in a trance."

"It's the heat. So what do you want?" She digressed, afraid of telling the truth.

"I wanted your copy of Siegel vs. National Comics. Some comic book writers tried to kill their boss because the company shafted them of their rights. Finger in Part 74."

"Strange medium that is. Full of masturbatory fantasy and sexist views on women, not to mention the violence," she spat out.

He rolled his eyes. "Your views aren't out of reach if you knew the case. The fictional character is called Pussywoman. You figure out the rest."

"Well, I'm ready to stick my finger in my throat." Her eyes wandered back to the corner.

"What are you staring at?" He leaned over to join her.

"A spider is making a web near my computer, I would kill it but I do like that web design. Pun not intended." She nodded to the computer. The spider dashed further to strengthen the web.

The E.A.D.A. peered at the arthropod. "You're right; look at em' go."

"Is it during that by itself or is it instinct? I suddenly remember my philosophy class from UT."

He grinned. "I think I had the same class. Descartes and his "organisms as mechanisms" line of thinking. I had a debate with someone who thought that lead to the degradation and destruction of ecology and the human condition."

She remained hypnotized. Whether it was the spider or his words, she wasn't sure. "Yeah? How did that end?"

"My opponent countered that you could fix a fragment of the system, but it would deteriorate a second later because its connection is ignored. I pointed out how the system was needed as the human condition evolved with the designs of civilization, like the checks and balance of political machines, and created improvements such as medicine and life expansion. She churned out fiscal issues and then elaborating on an outdated global perception of the Descartes vision and how it needed to be changed. Either way, it was a depressing discussion." The hypnotic weaving also dulled his senses.

"I always thought progress was essential for humans but still…there is something to be said of nature if a spider simply weaving its web can attract two 'highly' advanced people instead of during their tasks for the machine. Bottom feeding lawyer jokes aside."

Jack leered at her. "Aren't you thinking deep? And I am not attracted to it."

"Then why don't you go back to work?"

"Because it can keep for a few minutes? It takes my mind off the heat?"

Abbie had a small smile grace her lips. "Alright then."

He volleyed back the gesture. "Alright then."

They kept watching in awe, the spider almost completing its new home until another voice shattered the silence.

"What are you two doing?" Adam's voice rang out. The two stood at attention.

"Adam, we were just…" Jack attempted to think of a feasible explanation.

"Staring at a computer monitor?"

She swallowed her pride and had her face downward. "We were staring at a spider making its web."

"I see. Well, if a spider could keep two of my best A.D.A.s distracted then I should see it myself." Abbie stood up and moved out of the way while the D.A. walked over to the computer. The spider had finally finished its task.

"Huh. I need the book that has Mulroy vs. Fitzpatrick. I need to look up something. Jack, didn't you have it last or was it Ms. Carmichael?"

"I'll get it," Jack suggested and went out of the room. He rummaged through his library, and returned with the book in question.

"Here." He handed over the hardback with the case law on point to his boss.

"Good." Adam flipped to the end of the book, shoved the back cover between the void and rapidly lowered it on the spider.

"I always hated that law. Now get back to work. And someone clean up this mess," the D.A. gruffly sneered as he closed the tome and dropped it on her desk and departed the room. The two just gawped at the tattered web.

"That was anticlimactic," Abbie chimed in.

"Yeah, but at least we know for next time. We'll stare at a spider on our own time." They were afraid to examine the damage inside the cover.

"I know one thing, well, two things," she said emptily.

"What?"

"To appreciate nature and wonder about the futility of the human machine."

He chortled. "Don't you start. I had enough philosophy for one day."

"Come back to it after 5:00 when we knock off?"

"Sure, we can have the scotch and give a toast to the spider."

"Sounds like a date. I'll clean it up." She picked up the volume and walked away. Jack tried to ignore her shapely strut.

"Nature, indeed," Jack smirked as he turned back to the frayed web and lingered for a minute before he revisited his workload again.

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I meant to do a strict two pager with this but it got away from me. Oops. Always next time. Leave a review if you wish and see you in the funny papers.


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